Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
