its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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