HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
