Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
