She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
