i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
