Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
