just come out here and I will go home with you...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
