Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We were destined to go to rehab together
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
