would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
