I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
