It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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