I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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