I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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