I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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