so explain again why im purple
no
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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