Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize