He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They took my balls.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
