My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
