he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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