Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
