Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
