why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
