forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
