So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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