I skipped work to stalk him.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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