apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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