I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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