well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
