HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
