New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
