so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
