Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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