this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
