what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize