we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
