look no pants
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
