Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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