I got her a Nickelback box set.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
