He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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