WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
