its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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