You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
