Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
