is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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