Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Found the puke drawer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
