I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
ok first of all what the fuck
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
