you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
