we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
