i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
