My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
