I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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