Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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