I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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