she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
