If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
