Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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