i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She told me I should be a condom model.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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