No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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