who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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