I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
