Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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