About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
